Internal Monologues
by demon of causality
Summary: I stared at Grif’s motionless body. He had come wandering into the cave and then O’Malley bashed his head in with a rock, Grif hit the ground like a koala on an unsuspecting victim. Grif's fate is discussed by Doc and O'Malley. Minor slash. GrifDoc.


Title:

Rating: G

Pairing: Doc/Grif

There's a thing in my brain, I thought, there's a thing mooching off my brain.

_I do not mooch. I grace you with the possibilities of being a small part of the future ruler of the universe._

His laughter echoed inside my head. There's a thing in my brain, I thought again, and it just punched another man unconscious.

I stared at Grif's motionless body. He had come wandering into the cave and then O'Malley bashed his head in with a rock, Grif hit the ground like a koala on an unsuspecting victim.

Said head basher was now being cranky.

"My diabolic…eh…hover thing mustn't be discovered. Why are you even objecting to killing him? He abandoned you in the middle of the canyon." he taunted.

I shrugged, "Yes, but I was rude to him earlier. I'm sure he was just feeling offended."

"I see. And that completely justifies leaving you there."

"Well…"

"To die."

"Possibly…"

"Starved to death."

"Now…"

"HORRIBLE SUFFERING TO THE VERY END!" O'Malley cackled madly then added, "Also, I think he took your wallet."

"No…?" I checked and my mood got worse, "I still don't think we should kill him. It's wrong. You can't do that."

O'Malley rolled…our eyes, "Or what?" he asked mockingly, "You'll cry?"

My throat was beginning to ache. Suddenly I felt my grip on my own hands slip, I tried to resist him but O'Malley only gave me a mental push and wrested the control from me

"Don't fight me.", he hissed, "It'll be fun." O'Malley removed our...helmet and a very worrying smile spread across my face. "I haven't had a good kill for ages. Let's make this one an extremely horrible one. How about stabbing?"

I wasn't sure if he was really asking me or if it was rhetorical. Anyhow, I took control of the vocal chords.

"That's not really ethical."

"Smashing his head into a bloody pulp and use the skull fragments as armor decoration?"

"Um...not very hygienic."

"Fine! How about...strangling? Yes, that'll be perfect. Intimate and nice." O'Malley straddled Grif's prone body and tossed the soldier's helmet aside. His hair was a messy blonde...mess…hair...there wasn't any word in the English language that could describe it. Some of it was tussled with fresh blood.

The part of me that was the analytic medic examined the wound, "He's lucky. The helmet protected his head effectively."

"There's no need to gloat. And by the looks of it. Someone's been playing Frankenstein with him." O'Malley commented.

"That's not very sensitive. He might be sensitive about the scars." I parted the hair to get a better look on the wound, "It's only shallow, only needs some cleaning and dressing and he'll be fine."

O'Malley looked at my blood covered hands, the smile turned wicked. He slowly licked my fingers clean from blood, "Mmm...tasty! With a hint of lemon. Needs salt."

I was aghast, "I-I-I can't believe you just did that! It was completely-"

"-unhygienic?"

"And disgusting. But nonetheless, we should clean the wound. It can get infected."

The sinister AI chuckled, which in my opinion was not a good sign, "I think that's the least of Bif's problems."

"Grif. His name is Grif."

As I said his name, Grif's eyes flickered open and focused on me, "Geeeez...good you're here. My head hurts."

_Ooh, we have a perceptive guy here._ O'Malley snickered.

I ignored him for the moment and he strangely enough let me.

"You've been bashed in the head with a rock." I told Grif truthfully. "Not to worry. It's shallow."

"Good, good...and how did that happen?"

"Uh…you slipped?"

"Good, good…why are your hands around my throat?"

I stared down at my own hands that were entwined around Grif's throat. O'Malley tightened the grip.

"Checking your pulse?" I suggested.

"Trying to end your pathetic existence!" O'Malley cut in.

Grif seemed to be pretty dazed because he didn't react as one would expect.

"I feel weird." he said.

"That would be from the head bashing."

"Seems possible."

_Are you done chit-chatting with this fool soon?_

I'm just going to ask where my wallet is.

"Where's my wallet, Grif?", I said aloud.

The solider under me blushed crimson.

See? I muttered to O'Malley. He's blushing. He's probably regretting taking it in the first place.

_Maybe it's gas._

You're very pessimistic.

_No!_

Yes...and sarcastic...

_Really!_

"About the wallet." Grif said and brought me back to reality. He could have been talking with for a whole minute for all I knew; internal monologues are kind of distracting.

"What about my wallet?"

"I don't have it anymore. Sarge took it."

"Um…uh…really, it's no biggie. I'll manage." I stuttered, a bit uncomfortable by the fact that I was still straddling Grif and he was looking at me in a funny way.

_No biggie?_ O'Malley huffed. _You got your library card in there._

"Blood Gulch to Doc? Do you copy?"

"What?"

"You seem a little distant. You also seem to still be sitting on me."

Now it was my time to blush, "I…uh…I, I…"

_You're dealing with this like a klutz, _muttered O'Malley and before I had any time to regain control over my basic motor skills, I was kissing Grif full on the lips. He didn't push me away as I expected. He did in fact wrap his arms and held me put. After a while he let me pull back. For a moment we just stared at each other.

"So, what was that for?", he asked me.

"Um…because I like you?"

"Good answer."

I slowly got off Grif and got my med kit. "I could fix you up a bit."

Grif got up, looking rather forlorn, "It's okay. I have to get back to red base. Donut got himself captured. Idiot. Probably thought he was going to the store again."

"What store?"

"Precisely.", Grif eyed me curiously, "Why don't you come back to the base with me? I'm sure Sarge will only yell at me. It's okay, I'm used to it."

"Uh no…I have some thing to take care of." I said.

_Like plotting the downfall of you all!_

I watched Grif leave with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Before he got out of earshot, he called back; "We've got to do this again sometimes. Without the head bashing though."

Then he was gone and I was yet again alone with the thing in my head.

Hey, you didn't kill him. That was very nice of you, I pointed out.

_Pfah! I did no such thing out of niceness. I only wanted to save his dearth so it could be even more ghastly. Like instead of stabbing, it'd involve blenders and other kitchen utensils used in an interesting manner._

I think you're really a big nice guy under all that megalomania.

_No. I'm not. Really. I swear to any deity you want. There's not one ounce of goodness inside me. It makes me sick whenever you suggest that. I will destroy them all with my …uh…purple hover thing!_

Maybe we should call ahead. Some people find uncalled visits offensive.

_Call ahead and tell them I'm going to kill and destroy them all?_

…yes…

_Ungh…_


End file.
